Psychiatrist: Porsche Means Crisis, Volvo Means Compression Socks

“Look, Doc,” Gary sighed, sinking into the leather chair, “I think I bought the Volvo because I’m having a midlife crisis. I’m suddenly reading about lumbar support, Scandinavian minimalism, and saying things like, ‘safety ratings matter.’”

His psychiatrist adjusted his glasses. “Gary, if this were a true midlife crisis, you’d have bought a Porsche, a Corvette, or at minimum a motorcycle you’re too old to safely mount.”

“So what does a Volvo mean?”

The doctor paused sympathetically. “It means you’re not in a midlife crisis. You’re entering… mano-pause.”