Julia Child Recipe for a Kamala Harris Word Salad: No IQ Required

Bonjour, mes amis! Today, we are not making coq au vin or boeuf bourguignon. Non, non! Today, we prepare something much lighter, fluffier, and just a bit harder to explain—a Kamala Harris Word Salad. It is packed with just enough circular phrasing to leave your dinner guests nodding politely while wondering exactly what was said. As Julia might say: “If you can’t explain it, stir it!”Ingredients

Directions

1. Begin with a large mixing bowl and toss in several promising-sounding ideas.

2. Add hopeful language and stir vigorously until everything almost makes sense.

3. Sprinkle in a story from childhood or the middle class, whether or not it clearly connects.

4. Fold in repeated phrases for rhythm and emphasis. (“What can be, unburdened by what has been” works nicely.)

5. Continue stirring until listeners become unsure whether you answered the question—but somehow still feel optimistic.

6. Garnish generously with confidence and a warm laugh.

7. Serve immediately at a town hall, press conference, or interview.