Local Man Pulls Hamstring Watching Woman Stretch

At the gym, Larry learned an important lesson: flexibility can be contagious—but apparently only in reverse.

A woman effortlessly lifted her leg over her head in a way so unnatural it reminded him of Linda Blair in The Exorcist—except without the screaming, demonic possession, or spinal trauma. She didn’t even grimace.

Larry, a proudly couch-conditioned middle-aged man whose daily stretching routine mostly involved reaching for the TV remote, felt his hamstring seize in solidarity. One glance at her flexibility and his body immediately filed an HR complaint against him.