Monday, June 1, 2026No. 1,247 · Final Flood Edition
Forecast: 40 days & 40 nights · 71°
The NOAH Post ark sealTheNOAH Post

“Fake News, Two-by-Two”
America's Ark of Record

Newswire
  • POLLING — 78% of respondents say they didn't hear the question
  • WEATHER — Local forecaster admits he's "just guessing now"
  • SPORTS — Coach reportedly "very pleased" with the loss
  • OBITUARY — Local nap, age 22 minutes, peacefully
  • BREAKING — Man in cargo shorts asks where the coffee is
  • MARKETS — Mood "cautiously optimistic," same as yesterday
  • POLLING — 78% of respondents say they didn't hear the question
  • WEATHER — Local forecaster admits he's "just guessing now"
  • SPORTS — Coach reportedly "very pleased" with the loss
  • OBITUARY — Local nap, age 22 minutes, peacefully
  • BREAKING — Man in cargo shorts asks where the coffee is
  • MARKETS — Mood "cautiously optimistic," same as yesterday
SatireChristian satire

Historian Accused Of World War 3–11 Denialism

New Haven, CT: In what critics are calling academia’s latest overcorrection, Yale’s Board of Regents rescinded a tenured professor’s PhD in world history after discovering his dissertation failed to mention the entirely ...

Historian Accused Of World War 3–11 Denialism
FILE PHOTOHistorian Accused Of World War 3–11 Denialism. (The NOAH Post / Stock)

New Haven, CT: In what critics are calling academia’s latest overcorrection, Yale’s Board of Regents rescinded a tenured professor’s PhD in world history after discovering his dissertation failed to mention the entirely fictional World Wars 3–11.

“How am I supposed to teach events that never happened?” the bewildered professor later asked during an interview with Rachel “Maddog” Maddow. Maddow reportedly shrugged and replied, Maddow stated, "Follow the science. Elite liberal universities have been teaching about more than two genders for years, and nobody has questioned that."

The Daily Flood · Newsletter

Subscribe so you don't miss tomorrow's lies.

One email, every morning, two-by-two. Real-sounding headlines, zero real news. Unsubscribe whenever the waters recede.

More Like This
Christian satire

Senior Adult Takes “Need Help To Your Car?” As a Personal Attack

Melbourne, FL: “Sometimes you just have to show people who you are,” said James Wilson, 73, after a spritely Publix clerk cheerfully asked if he needed help carrying his groceries to the car.

Christian satire

AA Announces New “One Sip At A Time” Recovery Strategy

Melbourne, FL: Friends say it usually takes years of discipline, counseling, and personal growth to overcome a drinking problem. But for one local man, recovery reportedly happened in under ten minutes after an Alcoholic...

Christian satire

AA Announces New “One Sip At A Time” Recovery Strategy

Melbourne, FL: Friends say it usually takes years of discipline, counseling, and personal growth to overcome a drinking problem. But for one local man, recovery reportedly happened in under ten minutes after an Alcoholic...