Gym Revokes Man-Card After Barry Manilow Incident

Melbourne, FL— A local man was forcibly escorted from a gym weight room Tuesday after witnesses reported hearing him passionately sing Barry Manilow between sets of dumbbell curls, prompting management to immediately revoke what staff described as his “man-card privileges.”

“You sing fine. That’s not the issue,” a gym employee explained while pointing toward the Zumba studio. “You’re being removed for what you sang. If you’re bench pressing while singing ‘Mandy,’ this facility may no longer be the right cultural fit for you. If you want to hit the falsetto during Bohemian Rhapsody, do it in Yoga or Zumba like everyone else. If you’re going to sing in the weight room, at least pretend to be intimidating—Jason Aldean, Josh Turner… maybe a little Johnny Cash.”