Monday, June 1, 2026No. 1,247 · Final Flood Edition
Forecast: 40 days & 40 nights · 71°
The NOAH Post ark sealTheNOAH Post

“Fake News, Two-by-Two”
America's Ark of Record

Newswire
  • POLLING — 78% of respondents say they didn't hear the question
  • WEATHER — Local forecaster admits he's "just guessing now"
  • SPORTS — Coach reportedly "very pleased" with the loss
  • OBITUARY — Local nap, age 22 minutes, peacefully
  • BREAKING — Man in cargo shorts asks where the coffee is
  • MARKETS — Mood "cautiously optimistic," same as yesterday
  • POLLING — 78% of respondents say they didn't hear the question
  • WEATHER — Local forecaster admits he's "just guessing now"
  • SPORTS — Coach reportedly "very pleased" with the loss
  • OBITUARY — Local nap, age 22 minutes, peacefully
  • BREAKING — Man in cargo shorts asks where the coffee is
  • MARKETS — Mood "cautiously optimistic," same as yesterday
SatireChristian satire

Church Offers New Seminar: How to Recognize Mansplaining

Pastor Mark thought he was being helpful. During Wednesday night women’s Bible study, he reportedly stopped by to offer a brief explanation of “mansplaining,” which he described as “when a man patiently explains somethin...

Church Offers New Seminar: How to Recognize Mansplaining
FILE PHOTOChurch Offers New Seminar: How to Recognize Mansplaining . (The NOAH Post / Stock)

Pastor Mark thought he was being helpful. During Wednesday night women’s Bible study, he reportedly stopped by to offer a brief explanation of “mansplaining,” which he described as “when a man patiently explains something women may not fully understand.”

Witnesses say the room fell silent after he launched into a 12-minute PowerPoint presentation, complete with charts and examples. One attendee finally interrupted: “Pastor, respectfully, you are currently doing the thing.”

Minutes later, church leadership gently escorted him out, thanking him for his service and reminding him that some sermons are best learned through experience.

The Daily Flood · Newsletter

Subscribe so you don't miss tomorrow's lies.

One email, every morning, two-by-two. Real-sounding headlines, zero real news. Unsubscribe whenever the waters recede.

More Like This
Christian satire

Senior Adult Takes “Need Help To Your Car?” As a Personal Attack

Melbourne, FL: “Sometimes you just have to show people who you are,” said James Wilson, 73, after a spritely Publix clerk cheerfully asked if he needed help carrying his groceries to the car.

Christian satire

AA Announces New “One Sip At A Time” Recovery Strategy

Melbourne, FL: Friends say it usually takes years of discipline, counseling, and personal growth to overcome a drinking problem. But for one local man, recovery reportedly happened in under ten minutes after an Alcoholic...

Christian satire

AA Announces New “One Sip At A Time” Recovery Strategy

Melbourne, FL: Friends say it usually takes years of discipline, counseling, and personal growth to overcome a drinking problem. But for one local man, recovery reportedly happened in under ten minutes after an Alcoholic...