After 2,000 Years, Apostle John Thinks He Finally Gets Revelation

Patmos, Greece: After years of isolation on the rocky island of Patmos, armed with little more than visions, parchment, and painfully unreliable Wi-Fi, the Apostle John continued pondering the cryptic message Jesus had him record about the Apocalypse.

Then, in a moment of divine clarity so obvious he wondered how he’d missed it, the hidden meaning finally appeared: jerUSAlem. Witnesses say that if Jesus had been there in person, John would have immediately offered Him a triumphant fist bump and said, “You really buried the lead on that one.”